random thoughts to confuse and enlighten.

Dinosaurs

The only thing better than a Tyrannosaurus Rex is two Tyrannosaurus Rex.
What is better than two Tyrannosaurus Rex?  Nothing.

Dinosaurs are awesome. They’re big and eat humans. Animals that eat humans are cooler than those who don’t.

Proof: Animal Greatness Theorem of Law.
Animal that has large teeth used to tear human bodies > Animals that frolic in daisies and terd nuggets.  
Bears > Chickens
Sharks > Llamas
Wolves > Butterflies

Dinosaurs are the ultimate. They would gladly go up to a human and proclaim, “Get this puny peach sack of lard and useless brains in my face.” Our brains make us capable of fighting back, but if were to take on a dinosaur one V. one… Our brains are just a nice side dish.

Little known fact, Dinosaurs enjoy full course meals. Appetizers, steak, and dessert.

You know what’d make a really fwaah’n good film? Zombie Dinosaurs.

fwaah.

EDIT://

“This ain’t a war, anymore than a war between men and maggots. Or, dragons and wolves. Or, men riding dragons, throwing wolves at maggots.” – Scary Movie 4

This quote was brought up by a friend, Conrad. Let’s discuss this.
Conrad says:
Dragon riding men equipped with Wolf darts > Baker’s Dozen Tyrannosaurus Rex
However. These dragons need to be more well defined. There is the Mulan Eddie Murphy dragon and the ‘Reign of Fire’ dragon.

This is a dragon that you do not fwaah with.

Or the super awesome dragon in “How to Train Your Dragon.”

This movie was awesome. Dragons are way better than dogs or cats or air.

However. We all know that these dragon are going to be that classic medieval dragon that can breathe fire, fly, and eat people. Which is important, as per the theorem says. So right now we have two animals that both eat humans: T-Rex and Dragons. Therefore, 1 Dragon > 1 T-Rex, but 2 Dragons < 2 T-Rex. Here me out: Dragons can fly and breathe fire, but nothing is better than two T-Rex. Everybody knows that. But a dragon is pretty darn close. So the problem now is that we add men wielding wolf knives. Wolves are not trust-worthy knives. It’s not their main objective. They were not created to be thrown at T-Rex or any other target a projectile might be used for. First off, wolves would be great against other humans, but a T-Rex could take on a wolf. Not even a close fight. And you would have to throw at least six wolves to bother a T-Rex. And there’s no way 6 wolves would sit on the back of a dragon and be chill about being thrown at anything. Wolves travel in packs too. So just having your one wolf is not good enough. A wolf > human anyways. A wolf would kill the human and then chill on the dragon til the dragon kills the wolf. So the ‘men with wolves’ is moot.

If the dragons were able to:
1. Give a shit. (Dragons are not about to fight together. They’d rather just chill around and be awesome.)
2. Work together.
3. Get rid of the humans. (They smell, are fat, are peach sacks, and try to be heroes.)

T-Rex can work together. Any doubters? Jurassic Park: Lost World. Fact.

I think that it comes down to numbers. I think that a dragon equals a 0.9 on the win scale (A dragon with men wielding wolves is a 0.75). A T-Rex equals a 0.85. However, two T-Rex equals a 2.0. The highest number you can achieve. There’s nothing better than 2 T-Rex. So for every two T-Rex, you would need 2.2 (repeating, of course) dragons.

So for our scenario of a baker’s dozen T-Rex:
13 T-Rex = 12(2.0) + 0.85 = 24.85 win. Therefore, there would need to be:
34 men riding dragons, throwing wolves to beat 13 T-Rex or
28 Dragons to beat 13 T-rex.

Confused? Probably. Enlightened? Yes.

fwaah

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Comments on: "Dinosaurs" (8)

  1. what the fwaah? Dinosaurs are phenomenal.

  2. Genius.

  3. First off, some of the things I said were taken out of context. For example, I stated that men would be throwing wolves. However, this in no way indicates that said wolves were intended to be knifes. Secondly, let’s look at dragons (the classic european dragon, not the longer asian dragons that do not have wings but can still fly for some reason). The dragon has wings..and breathes fire. This alone has the dragon winning. The t-rex can run around and roar to their hearts conent while the mighty dragon can simply swoop down and burn the t-rex to death, easily out of the range of their might jaws and a somewhat questionable “pack of t-rex”. In the end, its coming down to specials and the dragon is just stocked up with features of death and mayhem. Sorry t-rex, you are not top of the food chain while there is a dragon around. The wolf and man are more bling than anything, the dragon alone tops everything

    • Nothing is better than two T-Rex. It’s fact. You can argue against it all you want, but the fact still remains. Valid argument, but without any mathematical stats to back it up you fall short.

    • Just as many have argued against Michael Jordan not being the greatest of all time in the NBA, many will argue against two T-Rex. Regardless of what anyone says, MJ is the best, and two T-Rex always win.

  4. Being how little of archeology is actually guessing, I think it is possible the dragon and the T-Rex may be the same animal. Enjoy that thought.

  5. That should read how MUCH of archeology is guessing.

  6. […] The only thing better than a T-Rex is two T-Rex. I’m being honest, I think my post on dinosaurs was my favorite post ever. You know who hasn’t forgotten this movie villain? Cole Luskey. Watching Jurassic Park with Colt is one part maniacal and one part inspirational. I’ve never seen anyone enjoy a movie as much as he does to Jurassic Park. […]

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