random thoughts to confuse and enlighten.

Archive for November, 2011

The Harvest Moon Effect

As I have grown over the years, I have become more and more Nostalgic about my years as a child growing up in the 90’s. I look back on those years fondly and with great joy;  remembering all of the fun I had playing still relevant Nintendo systems.

With the Technological revolution we have seen in the last 20 years, have come waves upon waves of new gaming systems.    Almost everyone had a gaming system of sorts growing up, whether it was a gameboy color, a sega dreamcast, or even the old fashioned snes. We all took away important life lessons from the games we played. Whether it was to never give up(mario) follow your dream(pokemon) or the value of a hard days work(HM64).

My first video game ever was Pokemon Blue, I picked Squirtle and we had some fun times, at least 30 hours worth. But I digress, here are some of the major lessons learned throughout our time playing Video Games (in no particular order).

1.

The one thing Ash Ketchum has taught us, other than not to be late, is to follow your dreams; no matter how dumb, drastic, or difficult. Oh, and that Gary’s a jerk off.

2.

Harvest Moon, the greatest game for the Nintendo 64, taught us many things. The main one being that Girls love Cake, and Flowers, if you give them enough cake and flowers they will eventually Marry you.

3. Harvest Moon also taught us the importance and value of putting in a Hard days work, while at the same time never forgetting to have Fun.

4.Oh the classics, Mario and Luigi taught us the importance of persevering and  Teamwork because together, they were an unstoppable TRAIN OF MADNESS AND VICTORY

5.

Plain and simple, Duke Nukem taught us(or me at least) that Blowing stuff up is a blast(pun intended), and that it solves all of our worldly problems.

6. 

Oh Zelda, what a world. Zelda taught us many things. It takes time to get a heart, music makes travelling possible, Friendship between a girl and boy is possible, and finally, No matter what Mask you wear, you will always be the same on the inside.

Fwaah

-Cole

Crusty

“Students, please tell me about Christopher Columbus.”
“Man. That boy is crusty.

Crusty as defined by Urban Dictionary. Urban Dictionary: The leading word defining machine since that schnozzle, Webster.

Some definitions:
1.Someone who doesn’t shower or bathe as a statement.
2. a fan of the genre of harsh punk rock/hardcore music called crustcore, crust punk or simply crust.
3. Adjective used to decribe old people,a gross unidentified substance, anything broken, dirty, crumby, badly made/conceived, falling apart, stupid, wierd, gross, this word can be used very freely as it goes with anything that may have to do with the word crust but it never describes anything good.
4.Something grotesque, dirty, or hideous.

The most common definition is to be smelly. So lets go through and discuss the most crusty people out there:

10. Eleanor Roosevelt

9. Pig Pen

8. Genghis Khan

7. Amy Winehouse. Too soon?

6. Man From India

5. Krusty

4. Flavor Flav

3. Jocelyn Wildenstein

2. Galileo

1. Christopher Columbus

Take a shower guys. Get that crust off yo’self.

-Cal

fwaah.

Ringo Starr

Just watch Ringo Starr throughout this video.

-Cal

fwaah

What is Space Jam? (Some thoughts and findings…)

We all as humans have found ourselves looking up to the heavens. Wondering, trying to comprehend what kind of cosmic forces could have come together in such perfect harmony quite like the NBA and animation powerhouses of the 90’s to create the breathtakingly complex, Space Jam. But what is the Big SJ really?

Well it’s a vehicle of supreme high life 90’s nostalgia racing around the hearts of every twentysomething whether they know it or not. A little bit of Space Jam lives in all of us. Michael Jordan is simply the greatest basketball player ever to walk (or perhaps AirWalk…) the earth, and to AirWalk into our hearts.

I know I would...

Yeah…. Go ahead and say that you wouldn’t, we all know you would.

Through the eyes of the SJ camera Michael Jordan was forever revered as the king of  the basketball court. His biggest critics may try to remember MJ as a ball-hog trash-talker instead of a team leader; the centerpiece in the legacy of the late 90’s Bulls; or try to make it seem MJ couldn’t let a good thing like six rings, come to a clean end after Jordan’s admittedly feeble attempt at a comeback, (to get a seventh ring to go with his six rings,) with the Wizards from ’01 to ’03. People holding these sentiments chip away at the pure ivory (ebony?) statue of basketball history he left behind. However Jordan holds over nineteen thousand NBA records including (but not limited to): six rings, the highest career regular season scoring average, best bod, and winner of the Michael Jordan look-alike contest fifteen years in a row.

For real, he has six rings.
And the Loony Toons?

The Loony Toons are an almost equally powerful force of good as MJ. Bringing laughter, clean slapstick humor, and silly hijinks with significantly less racist overtones than Disney for decades.

Nappy Hair.

This movie has never been officially released… do you really wonder why?

The Loony Toons have always been a good for a solid chuckle or a thought such as, “I didn’t know you could put a frying pan there…” or “That cat REALLY wants that mouse for something…” But “What is Space Jam?” is a bigger question than what one may initially think. As I did some research into the question looking past the surface, I came across several shocking revelations that really shook me to my core. Upon researching many sample populations, data points, and scholarly articles, I was struck with the shock and horror that not everyone has seen Space Jam. My future children can expect to be exposed to Space Jam approximately ten seconds after relocation from the womb. It will be the easiest transition from a life of warm comfort and satisfaction into this desolate wasteland of a planet… a desolate wasteland that’s brightest shining light is the wonderment that is Space Jam.

Despite these FACTS of life, people are still non-believers in the beauty of “The Jam.” I compared a million things, compiled the data, and was shocked to find these results.

An unbelievable amount of child labor went into making these images.

This makes sense.

Followed by…

Seriously, the kids make like ten cents an image.

If you have seen Space Jam, you know this follows logically.

But this….

The pixel-to-cash ratio is pretty much rock bottom. It's sad really...

This is horrific and terrifying.

This makes me feel sad and scared for our county’s future. There are people likely running for office that have never had an opportunity to lay witness to a confrontation between the ToonSquad’s array of colorful, Warner Bros. branded, basketball warriors, and the once small, kinda powerful aliens from outer space who are just a general annoyance, the MonStars. How can so many live what they believe are to be happy lives when they haven’t experienced that moment when the belief of your ability to fly overcomes all obstacles. So remember kids… Friends don’t let friends live a Space Jam-less life. Let’s see if we can build a better tomorrow, today. With daffy too.

MJ imparting some of his timeless wisdom upon one lucky duck.

SIDENOTE!

Bill Murray was in this movie. Seriously, how much amazingness can one movie fit into one VHS tape…

It's true!

No Bill... You're Awesome.

-Adam

fwaah.

The Coolest Cat

As the third and final contributing member of what the fwaah, I figured it was about time I, well, contributed.  Let’s take a look at a creature who so clearly does not get the respect, recognition, response, and any other R word it deserves: the Serval.

Serval Kitten, you're allowed a 5 second "Awwww!"

As you can see, the serval is quite adorable. Roughly 30 pounds, the serval is slightly larger than your run of the mill house cat. In nature, they are found in the African Savannah; so they need saving, too. As pets, they act more like dogs than cats, and need to hunt food, which makes them more awesome to have. As goes the laws of awesomeness; any animal that kills and eats things is better than any animal that does not.

Hunting in its natural environment

They can jump up to 10 feet into the air and use these mad hops to snatch little birds out of the sky. They are also territorial and protect up to 5 miles of land, so your house will always be safe with Serval at your side.

Like a regular cat, but better.

As we all can see, the Serval is stunning in appearance and much more awesome than any cat you may own.

Confused? Actually, probably not. Enlightened? Fa Showwww

Fwaah

-Cole

Image

Fun Fact of the Day!

Hello all!

Trying out a new feature in the blog these days! As we come across random interesting factoids in our daily life, we do our best to check and then double and quintuple check the source and truthiness of said facts. Then, we pass the savings along to you!

Not to worry, this will not take over the blog as the only source of information and hilarity, but rather will supplement and hopefully beef it up a little bit! Our blog is a growing boy and needs as much interesting content as possible!

So, I was spending my Thursday morning as I normally spend my Thursday mornings: looking up “Little People” on the internet. One thing led to another and I was brought to the attention of this little guy.

how does he stay so fit... he probably doesn't "munch" on too many snack. ;)

A Happy-Go-Lucky Munchkin

This man here, is Karl Slover. He is one of four living “Munchkins” from The Wizard of Oz. Isn’t he just the cutest? Yes. Yes he is. This dude is 93, and he is still kicking it. Look at that shine he has, you know he could tell you a story or two. And the first think you might notice in the photo is the elephant-like size of his ears. (Not intended as an insult! We love Munchkins. We really do!)

What we wouldn't do for this mug... Oooooh boy.

Anyway, munchkin mugs aside, The Fun Fact of the Day IS: As we continue to grow, so do our ears and noses! No joke! Dr. Oz can back me up on this one. (We’re talking about munchkins… Dr. OZ…. coincidence? I think not.) So as we continue to grow and our final days inch closer and closer, our ears transform from cute little facial structures into something out of a classic Disney movie.

Not that there's anything wrong with that...

Just as I have accepted Dumbo despite his unique physical properties, I for one welcome our large ear’d elderly folk. Besides, maybe soon we’ll have a sky full of old people flying around with their ears.  I wouldn’t say no…

So yeah! What you do with this brand new torrent of information is up to you, but the moral of the story is: Love your local munchkins, and don’t make fun of Dumbo, cuz your ear day is fast approaching.

edit @ 12:29pm: fwaah.

-Adam

1950’s: A New Tragedy

I had to write this essay for a history class. It’s about the 1950’s.

Happy Days

The real 1950's?

A family of four (husband, wife, son, daughter) crowd around their new television, as a peppy theme song for their new television show starts, and they sit on their new couch, enjoying their new sodas, bought from their new supermarket, which was built next to their new suburban home, in the new suburb, next to the new highway, which was paved for the new cars, which will be driven by new middle-class people, to their new jobs, because of their new degrees. This is the 1950’s in the United States. A new era. The 1950’s population boom, commonly referred to as the “baby boom” generation (MPAH, p. 330), brought about a lot of change and new thinking. The new middle-class white citizens embarked on a new journey of materialism, wealth, and new adventures. However, this time period has a dark side. It was not all “Monday, Tuesday, Happy Days” for the country. Although the 1950’s are categorized as being one of the finest decades in the United States, it also brought out a scary and selfish side of America that has never been precedent before. Engaging the United States was sexism, laziness, materialism, the Red Scare, racism, and xenophobia. The fifties brought a new hope to the country. Yet, it also brought something else that was new: a new tragedy.  The 1950’s brought new psychological, social, and political tensions that shaped the way the U.S. citizens thought and lived.

Generally perceived image of the family in the1950s.

The United States’ citizens were being wrapped up into new psychological apprehension that has never been seen before. Women’s internal struggle, the need for new materialistic wealth, the Red Scare, and xenophobia are just a few examples of new psychological struggles citizens were faced with. In the 1950’s, there was always an internal conflict going on in a woman’s mind between trying to succeed to her own standards and striving to fit society’s standards (document 9, p. 343). Women were imprisoned to their own thoughts. Women desired to be freethinking and to be equal to men. However, the 1950’s brought back pre-1920’s thinking. Instead of bringing new hope and freedom to women, the 1950’s brought back an outdated system of women being defined as exclusively housekeepers. Women’s minds were battlegrounds between freedom and imprisonment. People were also fighting to “keep up with the Joneses.” The desire to buy the best and to keep buying brought forth a new psychological debate that Americans never had to face before. The Americans had a new desire to buy for themselves and for their children in order to prove that they were no longer in the Great Depression (document 4, p. 336). Everybody in the 1950’s also had to deal with a new psychological feeling of hatred and xenophobia. They hated everything that was different. Whether it was a different looking house, to even hating people who were different than them. Whether it was the retreating to the suburbs to get away from the black citizens in the city or hating different races and calling them communists (textbook, p. 1044). The Red Scare brought forth a new fear of Russia and other communist countries because of propaganda, wars, and even just public hysteria. Children were also dealing with this as well (document 1, p. 333). The psychological bearings that the 1950’s brought were chastising the minds of citizens and are quickly forgotten about when talking about the “Happy Days” 1950’s. However, these worries not only existed, but they were forefront worries in the minds of U.S. citizens.

No real reason. Cartoons, I guess. Ultimately, Spongebob does not need a reason.

Social nuances such as sexism, materialism, television, family issues, racism, and conformity ran amuck during the 1950’s. Sexism was blatant and back into the lives of Americans. Women were again placed at the forefront of the “social purification” agenda. Men and even other women stressed that women were to be good housewives, and to not worry about getting a college degree or to advance as a human being (document 2, p. 333). Society wanted a woman’s primary goal to not be to better herself, but rather her husband and her family’s interests (document 3, p. 335). Materialism was becoming a part of everyday society. Society used to be just fine with what they had, but the 1950’s made every American want the newer and better item. Some believe that materialism stemmed from the want to get their sons and daughters what they could not get when they were growing up due to the Great Depression. Television was becoming to have a societal value. Fifty million new TV’s were purchased by 1960 (MPAH, p. 331). You had to not only own a nice new television, but to also keep up with all the shows (Diggins, p. 345). Children would spend hours watching cartoons (document 1, p. 332). The issues of the family also troubled society. Families were breaking apart (Coontz, p 354). Whether it was the extensive rise of cheating husbands or the rising divorce rate, families were being destroyed from the inside (Diggins, p. 350). Racism was also prevalent. The society was still not completely free of slavery. Yes, labor slavery has long been banned, however racial freedom and equality was nowhere near perfect in the 1950’s. When you think of the perfect family from the 1950’s, you think of a white middle class family (Coontz, p. 352). Also, racism was occurring in the North, and not just the South. Many Americans left the city to their white suburbs, leaving behind an empty shell of what used to be the city (document 8, p. 331). Poor people and blacks were left in the dust, because highway systems and Urban Sprawl began. Conformity was also a new social struggle. The idea of conforming was something that people feared, but ran right into it (document 5, p. 337). Everyone wanted to be just like everyone else: have the same new house, car, television, etc, but people wanted to be individualistic. This hypocrisy was widespread through much of society in the 1950’s. The society during this decade was looked at as a nice and new society. However, the society was not near perfect, and many of its highest morals were not held true and deliberately disobeyed and forgotten.

Political hardships were also a plague during the 1950’s.  Politics in the United States meant dealing with the endless threat of nuclear war and communism by Russia, the Korean War, as well as dealing with domestic problems such as the rising Civil Rights movement. Russia and the United States were in a non-combat war during the 1950’s. This war was a political nightmare. The arms race and continual threat of nuclear war made the war very stressful. The fear that Russia and the United States could just push a button and destroy the world was a very real possibility. Russia was also taking over Eastern Europe and controlling many countries to create the USSR. This take over was also fearful to many Americans and the world, because they were spreading communism throughout those countries. The fear of communism and of the USSR was what caused the Red Scare (named after the red color usually associated with the USSR). President Truman used powers that went beyond executive powers to control the relationship between Russia and the United States (textbook, p. 1013). The Korean War was another political mess. The Korean War stemmed from the Cold War and became a place of battle for democracy (textbook, p. 1021). Another political uproar was the Civil Rights Movement (textbook, p. 1038). The Civil Rights Movement was the social movement by blacks to achieve what they should have earned in 1776 and at the very least post-Civil War: rights. Often the protests by blacks would have been peaceful protests. Some famous peaceful protests were the sit-ins at restaurants or the “Freedom Rides.” However, not all protests would end up peaceful. White Southerners were quick to extinguish any followers and protests with violence and hatred.  Then the black people started to get violent as well with the Black Panther group. Political leaders were being torn between picking the side of black or white. Politics are almost always under scrutiny, and the 1950’s were no different. The political struggles were both international and domestic.

This picture is from the 1960s. But it's a famous one. So I wanted to show you anyways.

The 1950’s brought many hardships to the United States. It was not as peaceful and easy as many television shows convey. It was a time of new homes and families, but with the new loves came the new tragedy. A time filled with fear and constant turmoil of races, sexes, and classes. The fifties in America will always be remembered for how great it was. It will be remembered for the TV shows, rock n’ roll, the nuclear family, the suburbs, the new cars, the middle-class, and, of course, their cigarettes. However, there is a hidden underbelly to this beautiful monster: The New Tragedy.

-Cal