random thoughts to confuse and enlighten.

Hello hello hello to all of our listeners out there! It’s another wonderful day in the ever so lovely Minnesota winter. It’s a classic snow filled day leading up to the holidays and we (me) thought that we (me) should spread a little holiday cheer with the Top Five Holiday Movies on This Particular List of Holiday Movies!

That’s right everyone, we’re doing a list post! Why, you ask? Because list posts are easy to read, easy to write, people love them, and because this is my (our) blog and what I (we) say goes. So if you don’t like lists… then go jump off a bridge or something because lists are awesome.

ANYWAY!


A Christmas Story is simply that: a Christmas tale from the viewpoint of “Ralphie,” a boy who just wants a BB gun for the holidays. He ventures out with his gang of buddies and little brother “Randy” in tow to ask Santa to secure for him an “Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle.” Time and time again he is shot down  by adult after adult with the same boring answer, “You’ll shoot your eye out kid.” Over the course of the film Ralphie fights bullies, dreams his teachers are witches, eats duck for dinner (Fah-rah-rah-rah-rah…), gets his friend’s tongue stuck to a pole, and (of course) nearly shoots his eye out. A must watch classic that truly never ages.


First off, if you don’t like the Muppets stop reading this blog. I will not have my view count raised by people who think that Jim Henson’s life work is anything less than stellar. I dislike you as a person and you smell bad.

Now that THAT is out of the way, we come to The Muppet Christmas Carol. A heartwarming retelling of the Charles Dickens classic with a unique Muppets twist that should be a staple in your holiday season. This movie is watched every year at my house, and will be long after I have passed away. The entire cast is here from the antics of Gonzo and Rizzo to the unstoppable love Kermit has for Miss Piggy, the Muppets truly make this classic tale their own. The Muppets shine as their unique brand of children’s-humor-laced-with-subliminal-adult-themes is in top-notch form here, and the puppets’ charm is enough to melt even Scrooge’s heart.

Sidenote, Michael Caine is awesome and he plays Scrooge. Awesome.


Elf. Arguably Will Ferrell’s best role behind Ron Burgandy, Buddy the elf shines as one of the most memorable Christmas characters in history. Buddy’s innocence and good intentions are almost painfully sweet as he tries to warm the heart of James Caan, his father. Which, understandably, is quite a formidable task. Filled with wonder and Christmas spirit, Buddy the elf takes us on a tour of modern day New York City, and shows us that even in a grown-up world, there’s room to be a kid.

Sidenote, if you think Buddy the elf is a fantastic Halloween costume, you’re probably right. But if you aren’t careful you can end up looking like this.

He's clearly saying "Whoa now! You don't wanna piece of this."


Usually I rather dislike the types of movies where everything starts out great for the main character and then some dumb character gets added to the equation and things get progressively worse. This is not the case for this movie, mainly because this movie is unbelievably funny. With Chevy Chase reprising his best role as Clark Griswold, Christmas Vacation breaths life into the ever-boring movie genre of, “what could possibly go wrong next?” When Clark’s extended family comes to stay with him for the holidays, things go from bad (an overcooked turkey that spews out black smoke) to worse (kidnapping his boss after getting shafted on his christmas bonus) to horrific (when Clark accidently makes a cat explode). Instead of just waiting for the train wreck to be over, you find yourself rooting for Clark as tidings of comfort and joy transform into nervous breakdowns and septic tank problems. Still funny after every viewing and teaches you how to properly wax a saucer sled!


Finally, bringing up the rear is none other than the Schwarz himself.  After bodybuilding but before his career as the Governor of California, Arnold found himself fighting Sinbad for the last “Turboman” action doll in New York. Arnold is prime in this movie as he is stretched to his limits to find the season’s hottest toy for his son. He manages to get himself in and out of various dangerous situations and ends up learning a lot about what family really means blah blah blah, enough with all the sappy stuff. This movie is hilarious. Arnold screams at the top of his lungs in his unmistakable accent at every given point throughout the movie, and it never disappoints once. Seriously, just watch the movie. The only thing missing is Arnold screaming about getting to a choppa’ or shooting up a bunch of robots.

And that just about wraps us up! If anyone wants to discuss the merit of each film on its own… that’s what the comment section is for you silly goose! I could go on and on about each of these movies if I really wanted to, but I don’t.

Fwaah.

Honorable mention for those who like a little crazy in their holidays.

A Christmas Nana Won't Soon Forget.

 

-adam

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Comments on: "Top Five Holiday Movies on This Particular List of Holiday Movies!" (1)

  1. *Governator

    Also, Jingle All the Way was (mostly) in the Twin Cities! They were chillin’ at Mickey’s Diner at one point, remember?

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