Adele; Adieu

Adele won six Grammy Awards this year. And to that I say, rubbish. Even more prestigious, she came in fifth on VH1’s Top 100 Greatest Women in Music. I know, you all support her and everything. She’s every woman’s role model. And she speaks for all of you. But here’s the deal. She’s really not that great. I am all about artists coming out of no where and taking the world over. But here’s a thing: she isn’t even the best one out there right now. So here we go. In classic Cal Mader fashion. A list of female artists better than Adele. Also, please note that this is in my opinion. Not Adam’s. We had to have a conversation about Amy Winehouse after this post. Her jazz stuff doesn’t impress me. Sorry, Holmes McHolmesDawg.

Rules. Had to have had an album in the 90s/ 00s/ 10s. Has to be a girl. I ain’t gonna remember or care to even grade all of them. Examples include Rihanna, Tori Amos, and Barabarabra Streisand.

Female singers that should be mentioned in any article talking about female singers:

Stevie Nicks – You wanna turn your face into a not-face? Tell me you hate Fleetwood Mac.

–You should probably listen to this song while reading this post. Just saying.
Karen Carpenter

Karen Carpenter (1950 - 1983)

Aretha Franklin – Did you know RESPECT is a cover? You do now. Expect a post on great cover songs soon.
Joan Jett
Janis Joplin
Etta James
The Pussycat Dolls

Female Singers who should not be things:

Nicki Minaj

Not a thing.

Amy Winehouse
Christina Aguilera
Fergie
Liz Phair
Yoko Ono – Only because of what she did to the Beatles
Queen Latifah
Danity Kane – One of their albums went platinum. I hate this.
Duffy

Female Singers of the last twenty years who are worse than Adele, but still deserve some serious recognition:

Regina Spektor

A good smile is one of the most beautiful things women can do. I believe that love starts with a woman's smile.

Madeline Follin of Cults – April 16 2012: First Ave.
Karen O of Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Imogen Heap
Kelly Clarkson
Whitney Houston
Elly Jackson of La Roux
Ke$ha – Almost not a thing. But she’s kind of a thing. Not close to Adele, but a thing.

Karmin
Zooey Deschanel – We love Zooey here at theFwaah.
Katy Perry AKA Katy Hudson. The Christian Singer.

Shirley Manson of Garbage
Sinead O’Connor
Lady Gaga
Alanis Morissette
Enya – I wanted to put the Enya scene from Girl With a Dragon Tattoo. But the scene is kinda late in teh movie, so it’d give some stuff away. So. Watch the movie, because it’s phenomenal. And the Enya scene is absolutely perfect.

Colbie Caillat
Kimya Dawson – She’s coming to Winona for the Midwest Music Festival.
PJ Harvey – She’s big in England, becuase all of her songs are love songs to England. Regardless, really cool indie rock songs.
Taylor Swift

Here’s the deal. Singers who are better than Adele. And I don’t care what you say.

Leigh Nash of Sixpence None the Richer
Dolores O’Riordan of The Cranberries

Florence Welch of Florence + the Machine

A definite thing.

Ellie Goulding – Here‘s a dubstep cover of an Ellie Goulding song.

Her looks match her name. Ellie Goulding.

Norah Jones
Lissie

Alison Krauss (27 Grammys)
Joy Williams of The Civil Wars
Gwen Stefani
Beyonce
Alicia Keys
Ingrid Michaelson
Hayley Williams

I have a thing for redheads. In case you haven't noticed.

As you can see. Adele is better than most. But she certainly isn’t the best female singer out there right now. Not even close. She’s like middle of the road of the best female singers. That’s still… amazing. But it ain’t six Grammys good. I liked 21. I thought it was a good album. But I wasn’t about to say it was better than every album out there. Please people. Let’s take a step back and say goodbye to our relentless rapture with Adele.

Adele, you ain't bad. You're actually pretty baller. You just arent's six Grammys good. I hope you have a great career filled with heartbreak, so you can continue to write music.

Adele, adieu.

Bonus: My favorite three female singers:
1. Stevie Nicks
2. Hayley Williams
3. Soprano from University of Chicago’s Voices in Your Head. During the recording of Magic off of Ben Folds A’Capella album. Check out ALL of it, but at least 2:50 on…

If you disagree with me, hit it up in the comments section. Stand up for your fav girl!

fwaah, cal